I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
