Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
