Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
