yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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