Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He passed out mid-signature
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How does it feel to date your dad?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
