I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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