you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
