Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
