yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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