He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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