I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
please come you make the beer taste better
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
