Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
