God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
