she woke up with a sticky ear
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Come back. Shots need mouths.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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