shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
