she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
