she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize