Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish i was in the wii world.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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