My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
