I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
