foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
