Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
