I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
