I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
