Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
