I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
