Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
