How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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