it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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