I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
