It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
