guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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