exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
