I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
