I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
