grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
