Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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