I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
