based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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