She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
