Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So many bounce houses so little time
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize