There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
