How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
