..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
