Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sober January is a disaster.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
