I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
