yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
