I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize