Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
