I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize