just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize