I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Small penises have feelings too.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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