i just wanna soil my oats bro
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
