So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
