I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
