remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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