Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
