kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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