What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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