He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
