My nipple is on Facebook.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
