Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
