so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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