Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
